


Tell Me How to Feel Like We Did When We Were Young

by kaientai



Category: Gintama
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Eventual Smut, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Title is a The Maine lyric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-01-27 06:16:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12575548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaientai/pseuds/kaientai
Summary: Hijikata Toushirou is honor-bound to eliminate all that's left of the Nationalist Faction. However, he's unable to cut down two: Katsura Kotaro and you.





	1. Dwelling on Bitter Memories Just Leaves a Bitter Taste in Your Mouth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, there~ I already posted this story before with three chapters, but ended up deleting it to rewrite it. Extra, I know, but every time I tried to reread it, I just cringe, so i took it upon myself to do some tinkering and, ta-da! However, the story will definitely follow the same plot as always, with our main character, you, the reader, under the alias Junko Hitotsu. Now that that's cleared up, happy reading!~

****You weren’t sure if the invasion of the Amanto is a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, the Amanto had invaded your home planet and had taken away your liberty as a samurai, but on the other hand, their technological advancements were surely impressive. It's your first time back in Edo ever since the Amanto had won the Joui War, and it looked vastly different than the way it did years ago. Aliens of varying races mingled with humans in the streets like they’ve been here ever since. High-rise buildings seemed to be a trend, as well, but smack in the middle of the city is a cylindrical building that rises up above all else into the sky—the Terminal—which also served as a reminder of the Amantos’ successful control over Earth.

Every time you took a breath, the air held an unfamiliar scent (Do Amanto have a weird smell?) With each step you took, you questioned if this really was the old country you fought for. Seeing everyone being complacent with the strange creatures still put you on edge, regardless of how much time has already passed since the war.

In hindsight, you barely had any recollection with what transpired in the Joui War; you tried not to recall it, actually. Thinking about the past literally gave you awful migraines, and you always preferred to steer clear of thinking about it too much for the past few years. Despite this, you managed to remember the faces of the men you fought alongside with in startlingly clear detail.

You had assumed that your comrades thought you died in the midst of the war. You nearly did—the hideous scar on your chest didn’t even begin to do your previously half-dead state any justice. However, somewhere along the way, a man you’ve always referred to as the Doctor had taken you under his wing and managed to heal the worst of your injuries. For reasons still unclear to you, he’s kept you in a desolate room—in a place he liked to call the Red House, miles away from Edo. The Doctor previously mentioned something about the countryside air being somewhat therapeutic. If you were in a more able state, you would have fought your way out of that house once you were clear of any fatalities, but the drugs he had administered always seemed to lull you back to sleep every time you dreamed of getting away.

You often struggled to remember what he looked like; white lab coat, muddy boots, iridescent, green eyes—

The words, “Ah, fuck” already left your lips before the pain seared into your brain. Trembling fingers reached up to your temples to massage them profusely, and you forced yourself to think of the latest chapter of Shokugeki no Sora just to avert your mind from your source of suffering.

But you couldn’t help it. The time you managed to finally escape from the Red House replayed in your thoughts like a broken film reel. When you’ve finally found where he’d been keeping your swords, you bashed the Doctor in the head with the hilt of your silver katana, and stabbed him in the stomach with the golden one. The weight of two swords didn’t do much to aid your still-sluggish body in your escape, but you managed to flee into the woods, just until the medicine he kept inducing you with finally wore off.

You expected him to hunt you down because, though his eyes are beautiful, they were mad. Like the fool you were, you had waited for him to sniff you out, completely wasting your attempt at freedom. Two, three, four days have past, but you’re still slumped up against the trunk of sakura tree, with no manic green eyes searching for you.

That’s when you’ve decided to remain in hiding.

But then a few weeks ago, rumors have begun spreading to the rural area you stayed in for years. A lot of them revolved around Edo, your home country, and some may or may not have been enticing enough that you have decided to pay your old home a visit. All you knew was that you needed to find an old silver-haired friend of yours before you can do anything with all the hearsay.

Edo is unforgiving, you conclude. It isn't only the Amanto who were cruel and oppressive. Even humans had their share own share of wickedness. You didn't know why things were that way, but what you did know was that humans were kind by nature. In the past three days you've spent wandering around looking for a certain Gin, you've met more kind humans than cruel ones. Or maybe your luck just hasn't played you for a fool yet.

But that was until you arrived in Kabuki-cho and took stupid Zura's advice.

"Go to the Shinsengumi," he said.

"They'll help you a lot," he said.

"And give this to Hijikata Toushirou-san," he said, and handed you a box neatly wrapped with a bow.

You wondered why Zura wasn't even the least bit fazed that, hey, the comrade you thought was dead for years is actually alive! But nonetheless, you only shrugged and followed his instructions. He was an old friend. Even if he had a little screws loose, Zura could be trusted.

So, you knocked on the Shinsengumi's door, hoping they could help you find Gin. You were greeted by a scrawny-looking brunet, who introduced himself as Yamazaki, and let you in to talk with their Vice Chief. Said Vice Chief was in his office, helping himself to what looked like a bowl of rice and… mayonnaise?

"Who are you looking for again?" he inquired as he put his chopsticks down to light a cigarette, eyeing you with obvious apprehension.

"My friend Gin. Uh, it's really vague, I know. But that's the only name I remember him by. " You fidgeted with the sleeves of your kimono.

He gave you a look before taking a drag, and you took notice of how good-looking he actually was. "There are a lot of Gins in Kabuki-cho, but there is one person that's coming to mind. I just really hope he's not the one you're looking for."

You were about to ask him to elaborate, but then you remembered the gift Zura wanted to give to a certain person. You politely handed it to the Vice Chief.

“Um, another friend of mine wanted to give this to a Hijikata Toushirou person. Do you know who that might be?”

His eyes narrowed into slits, as he inspected the gift-wrapped box. “What does he want with Hijikata Toushirou?”

You shrugged. “Didn’t say. I’m just doing a favor for a friend.”

“Who’s this friend of yours?”

“Zu— Katsura Kotaro.”

His fist collided with his wooden desk. “You’re friends with _Katsura_?”

The fuming rage painted on his face made you reconsider answering truthfully. “Ah, he’s more of an, um, old acquaintance!” You followed that up with a nervous laugh.

He took out the recently lit cigarette from his lips and smothered it in an ashtray. His eyes told you that he’s not convinced. Still, he proceeded to unwrap the present and, _oh_ ,so _he’s_ Hijikata Toushirou.

“Say, what’s your name, again?”

You told him your name, and at the exact same moment, something exploded in front of the Vice Chief's face. It took you a few moments to realize that it was Zura's present. It was only a small explosion, and it didn't even harm you, but the smoke was thick. Through it, you could see a piece of paper wafting through the air. You snatched it, and written on the surface in a messy scribble is: _Best regards from the Jouishishi!_

"What the hell is thi—"

"SOUGO!"

And now here you are, handcuffed and crucified. Yes, _crucified_. It had been the doing of some sandy-haired brat that had the most ominously sadistic expression as he handcuffed you to a wooden cross. The ruby red of his eyes will surely make you have a hard time getting sleep tonight. Your stature isn't tall enough so your feet barely touched the ground. Without your feet helping to hold your weight up, the handcuffs are already digging into your wrists.

"So Katsura's been working with _you_ now, eh? And you were kind enough to come to us, so we wouldn't have to go looking for you."

Your head turns in the speaker's direction to see Hijikata Toushirou once again. The pristine condition of his face and hair makes you doubt that a Katsura-crafted bomb just recently detonated in his face.

You click your tongue. "How was I supposed to know that I'm on the most wanted list of a country I've never even visited in years? I was presumed _dead_. And Zura said I should go to you guys. I needed help! Doesn’t the Shinsengumi aid all those in need, regardless of their intentions?!”

He only sneers at you. "If Sougo wasn't feeling lazy, he'd have tied you up worse than that."

"How is that relevant? I'm already suffering anyway. Now will you let me go so I can find another way to look for Gin or what?"

"You're a Joui rebel. What makes you think we're just letting you go?" He takes the liberty to light up another damn cigarette.

"I've never heard the word Joui in years, more less rebel for it. I told you, I'm just a simple foreigner looking for an old friend. I was entirely unaware that Zura had wanted to blow your head off," you plea, your reasoning getting more desperate by the minute.

He exhales a whiff of smoke into your face. "And what makes you think I'll believe you?"

You heard someone call you by your full name and you’re rather aghast, because you aren't exactly fond of being called by the name given by your parents—well, your _mother_ , specifically.

A buff-looking man suddenly enters the scene. You sneak a glance at Hijikata, and you try not to rejoice at the fact that he’s just as surprised as you are.

Your savior is donned with the Shinsengumi uniform as well, but he seems to demand more authority than Hijikata. For some reason, he reminds you of gorillas. Who is he? The Chief, perhaps?

"Let her go, Toushi," he commands.

"Uh, for the record, I rather that I'd be called Junko Hitotsu," you inform him.

The man glances at you and considers for a moment before saying, "Let Hitotsu-san go."

"But Kondo-san—"

"Based on Yamazaki's report, this one really was clueless to Katsura's little prank. And I know you're dying to get back at him somehow, but detaining this innocent won't cut it. Let her go."

"Yeah, let me go,” you butt in.

Hijikata is very obviously shaking with rage, and you may have liked to see that. "Kondo-san, she's a Joui. How is she _innocent_?"

You desperately want to break free of your restraints just so you could strangle him. "I'm not a—"

"She is not one of the Jouishishi," Kondo-san finishes for you. "She fought with them before, but she's been traveling ever since they lost to the Amanto."

"Okay. Ouch. You don't have to rub that in, Gorilla-kun."

Kondo glares at you. "That's Gorilla- _san_ , to you!"

" _That's_ what you're mad about?"

"Okay, okay!" Hijikata yells out, irritated. "I'll let her go if it means both of you will shut up. Sougo, let her go."

The sandy-haired boy, Sougo, from earlier is suddenly in front of you again. You didn't even notice he was with Kondo-san. He begins to undo your restraints, but when you find your footing, you immediately step away from him. There’s something about that guy that throws you off a little.

You turn your attention to Kondo. "So, will you just let me go without help or will Hijikata-san tell me what he knows about Gin?"

Kondo nudges Hijikata, and the younger man shoots him a poisonous look, but he tells you what he knows anyway.

"So," you began when he finished talking. "The Gin you know is a local jack-of-all-trades kind of guy? If I paid him to sever all your limbs would he do it?"

"If you're really close, _danna_ might not even charge you interest," Sougo supplies.

"Whose side are you even on?” A vein pops in Hijikata’s head.

Sougo ignores him. " _Danna_ is the most helpful person of all. Please tell him I told you that, and that I claim seventy percent of his income for advertising him positively."

"Sougo, you brat!"

You shrug and turn to Kondo, who seems the most reasonable out of the present party. "Where can I find him?"

"Just above Snack Otose, a few blocks from here. There'll be a sign, 'Yorozuya Gin-chan'. You can't miss it."

 

* * *

 

Kondo was lying. You missed it entirely, and had to ask a red-headed girl inside a convenience store for directions. It had been a more perplexing task than it sounds. Instead of just answering nicely like any other person would do, she had told you to buy five kilograms of dog food, and then she'll talk.

"Who do you think you are, the Queen of England?" You sneer.

She hums and continues chewing on a piece of sukonbu before saying, "I'm aiming for that title, but for now, I'm known as the Queen of Kabuki-cho, aru. So, will you buy the dog food or not?"

"I am not."

 

* * *

 

You ended up buying the dog food and had to lug it a few blocks from the convenience store, as the red-headed girl in that stupid qipao dress just happily skipped around the streets like she owned the place. Apparently, her name is Kagura, and she lives with a Gin-chan that awfully sounds like the one you used to know—white hair, dead eyes, likes to pick his nose—so you took the risk and carried five kilograms worth of dog food as you followed Kagura around.

It felt like ages, but you eventually arrive in front of Snack Otose, and Kondo was at least right about the part about the Yorozuya Gin-chan sign. Kagura began telling you about how Gin-chan might be out drinking tonight, and that’s when you only notice that it’s almost dusk. The realization makes you aware of the fatigue in your bones. Damn this girl for having you drag around a sack of dog food, when she can do it herself!

"About time you got here."

By the time you discern who that voice belongs to, you already wish to bury your head in the ground. _Not this guy again._ But alas, you are greeted by the sight of none other than Hijikata Toushirou himself, yet again. Alongside him is Sougo, reading a magazine with a nude woman on the cover.

"The hell are you doing here?" Kagura asks, but the question is more directed at the sadist.

"Kondo-san wanted to make sure she would get here safely," Sougo replies nonchalantly before flipping to another page.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, sadist!"

Sougo spares Kagura a look. "Not much to look at, though."

The next thing you know, Kagura has punched the taller boy in the face and he’s sent flying into the doors of the snack bar. He gets up quicker than you expected, but he sports a gash on his face

"Oh you're getting it now, China," Sougo announces before lunging himself at Kagura in the blink of an eye.

"Don't mind those two. That's normal," Hijikata tells you before producing, you guessed it, a cigarette from his coat pocket.

"How is that _normal_?" You ask. (You want to ask him why he kept smoking every chance he got more, but that would just look like you were being comfortable with him) "If Kagura punched me like that, I think I'd faint."

"You say that like you're strong enough to not pass out after being punched by Jet Li."

"That's because I _am_. I'm a samurai, remember?"

"Samurai are good with swords, not in the art of not fainting when they are punched by Jet Li."

"Why did you even throw Jet Li in this conversation? He's a martial artist. He would've kung fu-d and wushu-d me to death first before thinking, _Oh maybe I should have punched her to in the face instead!_ "

He hums. "But that sounds like something Jackie Chan would say."

"Now you make me want to punch you to death," You mumble.

Hijikata laughs at that, and you roll your eyes. However, you realize something...

"If Kondo-san wanted both of you to make sure I would find my way here, then why the hell didn't you just escort me? I would've saved myself time." You glare at him like he’s the puppeteer of all the misfortunes in the world.

He inhales the last of his cigarette before discarding it on the ground. He turns to look at you with the sides of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "He only said we had to make sure you made it safely, not quickly."

Now you’re pretty much very willing to kung fu, wushu, and punch Hijikata Toushirou to death. Your fists are already raised and you would have sent a punch flying if you only haven’t noticed that certain individual climbing down the stairs of Snack Otose. His outfit is a crime of fashion—a half-open and half-dangling kimono over black slacks and a black long-sleeved shirt. Despite his appalling choice of clothing, the wooden sword hanging by his side doesn’t escape your notice.

All of a sudden, you can’t hear Sougo and Kagura trying to kill each other, as Hijikata tries to break them off anymore. One moment, you’re as bare as the day you were born, underneath  this storm of a man, while the two of you become one—the pale moonlight making his silvery hair seem like magic. But the next moment, you’re back in the bloodstained battlefield of the Joui War; an Amanto raising his double-edged sword with a deranged grin playing at his lips; you jumping in front of him just before he brings down his weapon at Gin’s back—

Your chest aches, telling you that the presence of this man, alone, is enough to tear open the scars on your body so the specters of a long forgotten dream can come back and torment you once more.

"Oi, Kagura," He calls out as he casually picks his nose. "Stop mating with Okita-kun for a sex—uh, sec." He flicks whatever substance he found in his nostril to the side.

"Gin-chan, I would never let this foul beast besmirch my body!"

" _Besmirch_ is a big word, China. Do you know how to spell it?"

"Uh, B-E-S-M-E— That's not the point, sadist!"

" _Danna_ , she has the sex appeal of a postbox."

"Say that again and I'll squirt your Vice Chief's mayonnaise in your nose."

" _Danna,_ she has the sex appeal of a—"

Hijikata whips up a bazooka and shoots Sougo with it at point blank range without hesitation. When he’s done his job, he turns to Gin with a sour look on his face. "Good evening, _Sakata-kun_. Going out drinking tonight?"

When Gin acknowledges his presence, he imitates the expression Hijikata wears. "Oh hello, _Hijikata-kun_. Generous of you to visit me. And you even brought me a harlot—"

"Who are you calling a harlot?" You glare.

Gin smiles lazily before walking towards you. "I was talking about you, of course. No woman would dress as obscenely as you and not be a _courtesan_ , if you despise the word harlot so much. Hm, you're pretty though. Hey, _Hijikata-kun_ , did you get her from Yoshiwara? Must've cost you a fortune—"

This time, Hijikata aims his bazooka, that you still can't process how he produced out of nowhere, at Gin, and blasts it with twice the intensity than he did with Sougo. Gin evades it of course, but he couldn't avoid you when you snatch away his wooden sword and hold it against his neck.

"Are you playing dumb or have the years numbed your brain and you've forgotten how to treat your comrades with respect?”

Gin eyes you with a blank expression, as if being held at sword-point is a daily routine for him. "Comrades, comrades, hm. You _do_ look familiar. I just can't remember from where. Ah! You were the one I tag teamed with in that MMORPG contest in the mall last week, weren't you? But I could have sworn you were wearing glasses then. And your hair was pink. And you were an Amanto."

"That just means she's not that person, you dumbass." Hijikata is about to blow him to pieces until you motion him not to.

You lower Gin's sword from his neck and hand it back to him. Your eyes trail down at your own kimono, and Gin was right—it does look more on the indecent side—but you sweep the idea under the rug. You have enough money for more clothes anyway. Shrugging any semblance of shame out of your mind, you proceed to push the left lapel of your kimono aside, slowly revealing your skin, inch by inch.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know we already fancy each other, but honey bunch, you're taking things too fast! Let's have a drink first and then we can go to bed and you can do all the nasty things you want to do with Gin-san!"

You punch his shoulder. "I do _not_ fancy you, Gin. And shut the hell up I'm not undressing. I'm trying to show you something!"

You gesture at the ugly scar that ran across your left collarbone all the way to the top of your right breast. It isn't too long but it looks deep when it had first been slashed into your skin. It wouldn't have scarred so badly if it was shallow. A flash of recognition is evident on Gin's face when he stares, although you notice Hijikata staring, as well.

Gin’s dead-looking eyes turn to you. "There are only two people I know that have a scar like that. One is the old lady running the pet store in the shopping district, and the other one is dead."

Hijikata frowns. "How could you possibly know that the old lady running a pet store in the shopping district had the very same scar?"

"She pays me good money for my… services."

"I am not going to ask what you mean by that."

"You said," You interrupt, "that the other person you knew that had this scar was dead. Who was it?"

Gin looks at you. "You wear the same face that she does."

Before you know it, you’ve thrown your arms around him and pulled him flush against you, not caring that your kimono lapel was sliding off your shoulder. "I'm not dead. I'm not dead. I'm not dead," You tell to yourself, more than to him, while you fist his soft tufts of hair.

"You're not dead either. I'm glad," You tell him silently.

But Gin abruptly pushes you away. You stare at him incredulously, but he’s still wearing that indifferent expression of his. "I told you," He begins before picking his nose once again. "She's dead."

"Wh-What do you mean, Gin? I'm right here in front of you. Alive and breathing."

"Ah, also, you were looking for a guy named Gin, weren't you? The gorilla called me a few hours ago to tell me. But I'm sorry. I can't help you find him."

"Gin, what in the hell are you blabbering about—"

For the first time today, Gin dons an indignant look on his face. "The Gin you're looking for died when the girl I knew with the scar died. They died along with the country of the samurai. In their bodies, lurk a drunk and a courtesan," He announces with a tone of finality, but that’s fine. You can’t find the words to say after what he just said.

He turns to Hijikata. " _Hijikata-kun_ , she's pretty and all, but not my type. If you're getting me a Yoshiwara girl at least consult me beforehand so we can discuss what kind of woman I want! Yeesh, now you wasted all that money on a girl that asks too many questions."

But Hijikata only stares at him blankly before saying, "Start running before I blow you to pieces."

Gin shrugs, and calls out to Kagura before both of them walk away, and the sight of his retreating form makes you ask, "What the hell happened after all these years?"

You stand there, rooted in place and speechless, for a good few minutes, and you’re glad Hijikata is nice enough not to grate you with questions. So, instead, you ask him, "Where's a nice place to settle down here in Kabuki-cho?"

Hijikata arches an eyebrow. "The guy you broke your back just to look for flat out rejected your existence, and now you're going to settle down in the same district as him? Aren't you a foreigner? Just go back to your own country, or planet, even."

You sigh. "He might've done that, but I'll just play along. I'm dead? So be it. Besides, Kabuki-cho is a very welcoming scenery."

"If you consider heaps of trash, drunkards roaming the streets at any given time of day, and thieves at every corner and alley a _very welcoming scenery_ , then be my guest. But since I've come to like you, I'll say that the safest, not exactly the best, place to live in this dumpster of a district, is the neighborhood of the glasses boy Sakata-kun works with. It's already nighttime, which explains why he isn't here. I could escort you there, since you have a terrible sense of direction."

You snigger. "Eh? Hijikata-kun, do you have a pathological desire to be with me wherever I go?"

"Stop talking like that! You sound just like Sakata!"

"Well, we did spend months together during the Joui war. Might have picked up a trait or two."

"The war was _ten_ years ago."

"And your point is?"

"Hijikata"

The two of you set aside your bickering to stare at Sougo, who has gunpowder all over his face, and his hair was fashionably styled into an afro. "Yamazaki said that the Chief is out stalking again. He said we should go get him."

Hijikata narrows his eyes. "Where is he then?"

Sougo leers evilly. "Where else?"

 

* * *

  

The Shimura household is bigger than you imagined, but maybe the fact that it used to be a dojo does it enough justice. Hijikata tells you about the Shimuras on the way there. Their father had died a few years back, and what was left was the older daughter, Shimura Tae, and the younger son, Shimura Shinpachi. Shinpachi works at the Yorozuya without pay with Gin and Kagura, but he always goes home to his sister, since Tae thinks that Shinpachi's brain will deteriorate if he ever spends more than twenty four hours with Gin. Not that you had any arguments about that.

"Hijikata, won't you tell her about the boss stalking—"

"She doesn't have to know that, Sougo."

Hijikata has already rung the doorbell, and you patiently wait for someone to answer, but at the corner of your eye, you could have sworn that you saw something move in the bushes. You inform your companions about it, but they just brush it off as a mere trick of the eye.

"I'm not just a samurai. I'm also a hunter, and when these eyes see something, they see something," you argue, and took a good look at the patch of bushes once more, but now you can see Kondo-san's head protruding from the shrubs.

Hijikata stares as well,and he's gone as pale as a sheet. "If you did see something, then it's probably just a cat."

"Hijikata, that's Kondo-san right there. What is your boss doing in a shrub?"

"That's not Kondo-san. Look, it really is a cat."

You stare again, and this time, what had been Kondo has been replaced by a giant black cat head, with a crescent moon on its forehead. "That's not just any cat, Hijikata. That's Luna from Sailor Moon. If the situation wasn't so strange, I would have applauded Kondo-san's choice in disguises."

"It's not a disguise. Look, another cat already joined it."

You notice that Sougo is gone, but another cat head has joined Kondo's in the bushes. This one is a grey cat, and had the same crescent moon on its forehead.

"That's Diana."

"Yes it is."

"Sougo disguised as Diana."

"No it's not."

"Hijikata, why can't you just tell me that Kondo-san was in those bushes because he's stalking someone inside the house. I'm gonna go with Tae-san. It would be really weird if he's staking Shinpachi-kun."

"Stalking?" Hijikata laughs nervously. "Who said anything about stalking?"

"Sougo mentioned it when we were in front of Yorozuya remember?"

"Hey look there! There's another cat in the bushes!" He yell out, and when you glance at the same bush, there are now three cat heads, the newest addition being white with the same crescent moon, but you notice Hijikata is no longer beside you.

"Meow," The three cats mewl in unison, but instead of sounding cute, they sound like middle-aged men, which technically they are.

You’re about to say something when the doors to the Shimura household open, revealing a fairly tall, fairly pretty woman with brown hair and brown eyes; this must be Tae. She has a inquisitive look on her face, and you momentarily forgot that you’re a stranger to her at the moment.

"Ah, Shimura-san, good evening. Hijikata-san called you half an hour ago, I think. I'm Junko Hitotsu." You explain to her the rest of the situation as normally as possible.

"Oh, yes. Hijikata-san did inform me of your visit. I was a bit hesitant first, I admit, but he didn't mention you were a girl," Tae laughs. "Please, come inside."

"Uh," you eye the bushes from the corner of your eye to see if the three dwindling idiots are still there, but there is no sign of cat heads present anymore. You shrug before setting foot into the their humble abode, but you could have sworn you can hear Kondo-san scream, "Otae-saaaaan!" in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how'd you like it? Comments, kudos, and pizza are appreciated.


	2. People Who Read Other People's Journals are in the Lowest Part of the Societal Hierarchy

"I'm gonna be what?" Hijikata asks Kondo again, even though he clearly understood what his superior said the first time.

Kondo glances up from the papers he’s signing on his desk and gives him a knowing look. "You're going to be Hitotsu-san's bodyguard."

Hijikata furrows his brows. "Why me? You know I get just as much paperwork as you do, Kondo-san, and I obviously can't do them while I'm guarding an ex-Joui," He made sure to stress those last few words, so that Kondo might reconsider.

This time, the Chief gives him a hard stare. "When did you start questioning my orders, Toushi?"

Hijikata sighs, quite unused to the Chief’s assertiveness. Getting on Kondo’s bad side isn’t part of his plans for the morning, so he needs to do some backtracking. "Okay, wrong question. Why does Hitotsu-san need a bodyguard in the first place? Like I said, she's an ex-Joui. She can beat the crap out of almost anyone that messes with her."

Kondo puts his pen down and laces his fingers together in deep thought. Hijikata knows better than to interrupt while he is thinking like that. But when he finishes, he listens intently.

"I know her," he mumbles, almost inaudibly.

Hijikata frowns. "Well, we all know her already Kondo-san—"

"That's not what I meant, Toushi," he interrupts. "I already knew her even before we all came to Edo to become the Shinsengumi."

Suddenly interested, Hijikata grabs the chair in front of Kondo's desk and sits on it. This seems like it's going to be a conversation that'll take some time.

"What do you mean?" Hijikata asks, his eyes narrowed quizzically. .

Kondo hesitates. It surprises Hijikata a little because he's spent a majority of his life with Kondo, and he never hid anything from him and Sougo. Maybe this was an exception. But nonetheless, Hijikata patiently waits for him to speak up.

"I met her the first time when we were all still in my dojo in Bushuu," the Chief begins. "I was out drinking in the town with some of the older members when one of them—if I can recall, I think his name was Hideyoshi—decided to hit on this girl in the bar."

A faint memory of the small town of Bushuu flashes in Hijikata’s mind. Though it lacks the splendor of Edo’s skyline, he certainly misses the fresh breeze that blew day and night. Just recalling what everyone looked like before the Shinsengumi is enough to wring his heart.

“You were seventeen then, I think, and she was around that age as well. She looked different back then, but I recognized her when you had Sougo chain her up a few days ago.” He pauses, then laughs. “But when I first saw her, her hair was probably as long as... ah, if you don't mind me saying her name, Mitsuba's, but where Mitsuba's hair looked tidy, Hitotsu-san's was an uneven mess. It was as if she chopped off her hair herself."

Hijikata appreciates Kondo’s wariness of mentioning Mitsuba to him. Her memory is still fresh in Hijikata's mind, of course, but he can’t help but think of you with unruly hair. It’s a little difficult because your hair is now in long tufts, but he knows you would have looked nice all the same.

"Seeing teenagers in a bar isn't strange," Kondo continues, "But what made Hideyoshi approach her in the first place were the twin blades strapped across her back."

"But weren’t swords already banned that time?"

"Exactly. That's why Hideyoshi was so curious. I couldn't blame him. We were all already drunk beyond imagining, and seeing two real life swords after years of just practicing with wooden ones would drive a samurai to severe interest," Kondo manages a soft laugh, as if it's an enjoyable memory. "So Hide approached the girl and I don't know what he told her but she only gave him a dirty look before shooing him away."

Hijikata tries imagining you sitting on a barstool, helping yourself to some sake with two blades behind your revealing yukata. You didn't hear it from him, but any intoxicated samurai greeted with that sight would've found it enticing.

"When I thought Hide was gonna go back to us like a wounded lion, he suddenly grabbed Hitotsu-san's arm and said, 'Hey, aren't swords banned now? Why do you have two?' That announcement attracted the attention of the whole bar. But then he wasn't content with stressing that the girl had two swords. So he said, 'If you aren't gonna come to bed with me, I'll have to turn you in. The Bakufu pays good money when someone turns in traitors.'"

Hijikata finds himself grimacing at that. "That's pretty low."

Kondo grunts in agreement. "I thought I had to step in that time because Hideyoshi was acting pretty reckless and it'd be bad reputation for the dojo if word got out that one of its members is a blackmailer. But I was proven wrong when the girl unsheathed both of her swords. She did it so fast, the next thing I knew, one blade was pointed at Hideyoshi's neck, and the other one at the back of it."

"And then, she said, 'If you say one more word, I'll make sure you won't come out of this bar with your head still attached to your body,' or something like that. But in the end, Hideyoshi got sobered up from fear and went back to us. The girl finished the rest of her drink, paid for it, and went out of the bar. Everyone stared when she did. And I took it upon myself to follow her and apologize for Hideyoshi's impudence. I kinda expected her to be one of those people in movies that when they go out and someone chases after them, they're suddenly gone. But nope, she was walking at a moderate pace away. I caught up to her and stated my apologies."

"What'd she say?" Hijikata asks.

He rests his chin on his hands and stares at the ceiling. "It was strange. First, she unstrapped the swords from her back and gave them to me."

"What?"

The Chief nods. "I was surprised myself, but she only thanked me and said that she didn't need those swords anymore. She already started walking away again before I could say anything."

Something suddenly clicks in Hijikata's mind. "Say, Kondo-san, what do her swords look like?"

Kondo smiles at him. "I knew you would catch on. You know what they look like, Toushi. One was as made of gold all the way to the hilt, and the other, a shining silver. They're the same swords that were hung criss-crossed in the dojo's fighting room back then, and the same ones in the training room of the Shinsengumi compound today."

Hijikata has to double take on what Kondo just said. He suddenly recalls the day he woke up and saw that there were gold and silver swords displayed in the fighting room of the dojo. They had been the first real swords that Hijikata has seen in a long time. And somehow, he used the two swords as a beacon of hope—hope that one day, he'd get to handle his own real sword. He's honestly glad that Kondo-san had decided to take the swords with them when they all journeyed for Edo years ago. He always thought that the owner of those swords was a respectable hero, but since the truth had been revealed, Hijikata couldn't believe it.

"Th-That ex Joui, that _woman_ , owned those s-swords?" He cries out in disbelief.

"Don't say she's a woman like it's an insult," Kondo scolds. "And to answer your previous question about why I want you to guard her, I feel like I owe her."

"What do you mean?"

Kondo sits back on his chair and sighs. "We wouldn't have these," He gestures at both of the swords on their sides, "if it weren't for her."

Hijikata raises a brow. "What are you talking about, Kondo-san? We made it here with our own sweat and determination."

"Her swords gave the miserable lot of you hope when I hung them in the fighting room, didn't they?" Kondo casts him a lopsided smile.

"Well, yeah, but—"

"Toushi, if I hadn't put those swords up there, all of you wouldn't have believed in the samurai way anymore. You'll all start to think that all that dojo business was useless since we can't fight with real swords anyway. All of you would have preferred to stay back in Bushuu if I hadn't given all of you a little push."

Hijikata clicks his tongue. "Kondo-san, I know you're one for sentiments and all, but is it really necessary to bodyguard her? From what you've told me, she could decapitate anyone with a flick of a wrist."

Kondo slumps for a moment. "Well, you're right about that, but I'll still assign you to keep a constant eye out for her. Even if I feel like I owe her, she's still someone suspicious. Stick with her for at least half a year, and make sure that she isn't an enemy to the Bakufu."

If Hijikata is drinking something, he would have spit it out. "Half a year?"

"Yes, Toushi. Just show her around Edo for a while. I dunno be her tour guide or something. And give me daily reports about anything that happens."

Hijikata's eye twitches. "Will every foreigner that shows up get a Hijikata's Special Edo Tour?"

"That's ridiculous, Toushi. Now she's staying at Otae-san's. I'll take care of your paperwork. Pay Hitotsu-san a visit and inform her that you'll be her special escort for the next six months," he says with a tone that doesn't give Hijikata room to contradict.

 

* * *

 

_Thursday._

_It's been ten days since I arrived in Edo, and a week since I've moved in with the Shimuras. I haven't tried contacting Gin after the fiasco outside the Yorozuya. Who would want to interact with someone who thought of you as a harlot or dead? But anyway, living here is incredibly peaceful. I get to help Tae-chan in maintaining their gardens, correct Shinpachi-kun's stances in swordfighting, and fend off the stalking gorilla, Kondo-san._

_About Kondo-san. I had brushed aside the feeling I got when I first saw him in the Shinsengumi compound as simple deja vu, but the feeling got stronger each time Tae-chan kicked him out of the house. I know him. I know that I know him, but I can't remember from where. When I saw him last night underneath the house, I suddenly got reminded of the scent of sake, which was strange because I've never had sake, more less know what it smells like. The Doctor never allowed me to drink anything of the intoxicating sort. He said that it would only slow down my healing process, but now that I think of it, even if I already know everything that the Doctor told me was bullshit, I still unconsciously abide by some of his words. And that’s more frustrating than it should be._

_Anyway, as I was_ — _what’s the word kids use these days_ —chilling _by the garden last night, drinking the tea Shinpachi made for me, I suddenly heard a loud noise underneath the wooden floor, as if someone bumped his head against it. When I went to take a look, I was greeted by a too-familiar gorilla who seemed to have forgotten to shave._

_When Tae-chan asked me about it this morning, I told her it was just a cat. A really big cat that could bump its head on the wooden floor._

 

"Junko-chan, Shinpachi-kun's back with some take-out!" You can hear Tae's voice from outside the sliding doors of your room. You place the pen you borrowed from her on the table and close your journal. Silently, you hide it beneath your futon; it’s the only physical thing you own besides your yukata. Hiding it underneath the many layers of your clothes is a tricky endeavor, and you're just glad you can place it somewhere safe now.

You stand up and dust the light blue yukata that Tae is kind enough to lend you, since the one you had is so over-worn, the flowery designs already faded. When you get to the dining room, the Shimura siblings already started eating what looks like convenience store budget meals.

You take a seat in front of Shinpachi and greet him with a "Welcome home" before Tae hands you your own convenience store budget meal.

"I'm really sorry I can't cook for you today, Junko-chan. I forgot to do some groceries yesterday and now I have no ingredients," Tae apologizes.

You laugh nervously as you opened the container. "I-It's fine, Tae-chan. And thank you for the food, Shinpachi-kun."

"You're welcome, Junko-san. I still have some money anyway," He replies.

"And you even provide for the Yorozuya? You're ready to run a family, Shinpachi-kun," You tell him.

He laughs. "I only do from time to time. It doesn't seem like it, but Gin-san really does earn some profit from job requests, and more often than not, he actually uses it to sustain Kagura-chan and Sadaharu. He doesn't always go out drinking, you know."

You fake gasp. "Huh? Gin and earning profit in the same sentence? I am taken aback."

"I know. I couldn't believe it when I first found out, either."

The three of you eat in comfortable silence after that. And when you are about to throw away your container in the trashcan, you hear someone ring the doorbell outside.

"I'll get it," Shinpachi volunteers and goes to greet whoever is at the door.

You glance at Tae and, from the looks of it, she’s just as curious as you are. "I wonder who that could be."

You only shrug before throwing away your trash. You’re about to excuse yourself to your room, until you hear footsteps and arguing in the hallway.

"Hijikata-san, can't this wait tomorrow?"

"I was ordered to tell her now."

"But we're already heading to bed."

"Boy, I'm a policeman. Just trust me!"

"Like hell I will!"

Their banter ends abruptly when Tae whacks them both upside their heads. "Can both of you stop shouting at each other? The neighbors might hear you!"

"You're shouting, too!" Hijikata retaliates.

"Didn't I tell you not to shout?!"

"Yeah, you did, but you shouted at us while telling us not to shout!"

"Just because I shouted when I told you not to shout, doesn't mean you can point out that I shouted by shouting at me in return!"

"Just because we were shouting doesn't mean you can shout at us for shouting just because your neighbors might hear us shouting!"

"Just because—"

"Both of you," You say, without shouting, "Shut the hell up."

The three of them fall silent. You turn to Hijikata and ask him, "You here for me?"

He nods brusquely. "Kondo-san wanted to know that I'll be your bodyguard—err, escort—for the next six months."

You gape at him. "Come again?"

"Please don't make me say it again," Hijikata has a pleading look in his eyes.

"So you mean to tell me that Tae-chan's stalker ordered you to be my stalker for the next six months? Now, I'm starting to question the Shinsengumi's integrity—"

"Don't say it like that! Kondo-san insisted that I show you around Edo since you haven't visited in a while."

You raise an eyebrow at him. "Do all foreigners receive the same treatment from you, Hijikata-san?"

Hijikata snorts. "Funny you should ask. I asked the same thing to Kondo-san, but he just ignored me."

You stare at him for a good few minutes before casually saying, "Okay. When do we start, tour guide-san?"

Apparently, he didn’t think that you would've agreed as easily as you just did because Hijikata's eyes are widened, and his mouth is agape. "I-I thought I'd have to use some force to make you cooperate."

You shrug. "Touring Edo with you doesn't seem all too bad. If I got assigned to Sougo, though, hmm, I may have put up a fight first."

"Do you hate Sougo that much?"

"No, he's adorable even. I would never dare cross him though. Let's just say I think he would be a formidable ally, but a really troublesome enemy. And something's off about him. Is he from hell? Is he Satan?"

Hijikata chuckles. "I have the same sentiments."

"Okay now that both of you are settled, can we all go to sleep now?" Shinpachi yawns.

Hijikata bows. "My apologies for intruding," he tells the Shimuras before turning to you once more. "I'll pick you up at five in the morning."

"Wait, what?"

But before you can say any more, Hijikata is already halfway to the exit. "Thanks for having me!" he announces as he shut the door behind him, leaving you dumbfounded.

You turn to Tae. "I am not waking up at such an ungodly hour just to go sightseeing."

Tae only smiles. "I think I might have an idea where Hijikata-san might be taking you so early. You should head off to bed if you don't want to wake up groggy, Junko-chan."

You sigh in defeat before bidding your good nights to the siblings. When you come back to your room, you change into a comfy pair of pajamas with banana prints all over it. You bought it at a department store with Tae a few days ago, and she found your choice of night clothes rather cute. But that was until you told her that you picked it so it would be some sort of Kondo-san bait. She was so outraged, you spent a good twenty minutes running from her fury in the mall.

You find yourself smiling at the thought. It had only been a week, but you already warmed up to Tae and Shinpachi. The warmth was good. It's been so long since you've felt attached to someone. It's been so long since...

You are startled from your train of thought when you hear something caw. Suddenly, you see a black crow pecking on a book on top of the table by the open window. Without warning, the Doctor’s voice echoes in your head like a shrine’s bell.

_“My, if you don’t take your medication, the crows won’t be happy.”_

_“Do you really intend to get on their bad side?”_

_“Never anger the crows, little bird.”_

A bloodcurdling scream rips its way out of your throat. Forgoing all reason, you grab the nearest object, which was a vase, and fling it at the crow. It squawks angrily before flying out of the window. Your heart feels as if its trying to climb up the roof of your mouth, but you found enough courage to walk over to the table. The shards of the shattered vase are digging into the skin of your feet, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You know you hid your journal underneath your futon, but here it is. You take notice of the single black feather bookmarked into one of the pages. With trembling hands, you crack it open just to see the exact words that the Doctor engraved into your mind.

 

_**NEVER ANGER THE CROWS.** _

 

The journal falls from your grip and before you can think of forcing it down, another scream escapes you once more. You scream until Tae and Shinpachi barge into your room. You scream as Tae treats the cuts on your feet. You scream for Shinpachi to burn your journal, and when he hesitates, tears fell from your eyes.

 

* * *

 

Shinpachi burns your journal outside with a quaint sense of foreboding curiosity, and when he’s done, you already calmed down in his sister's arms—your hysteric sobs reduced to soft sniffles, as Tae murmurs the assurance that everything will turn out okay. He finds it strange, seeing how you, the last person he expects to lose her composure over anything, are crying in his sister's arms.

Before he burned the journal, however, Shinpachi tried to scan it as quickly as he possibly could. Most of what's written, he couldn't exactly decipher, but you did write the words “the Doctor” more times than he could count. It left Shinpachi wondering who you were pertaining to in your entries as the flames ate away the leather-bound book. Did you want to be a doctor? Were you acquainted with a certain doctor? He didn’t know.

"Should I call Hijikata-san to inform him of this? And maybe cancel tomorrow?" Shinpachi asks softly.

You glance up at him, red-eyed and shake your head. "I'll be fine Shinpachi-kun. It's okay. And thank you for burning the journal." You manage a weak smile. "Sorry for being pushy."

Shinpachi let out a gentle laugh. "It's fine Junko-san."

Then you turn to his sister. "Tae-chan, as much as I like being cuddled to sleep, I'm a grown woman. I need to be able to sleep away the scary things in life."

Tae shakes her head. "Oh no you don't. You'll get nightmares if I leave you alone. I used to do this with Shin-chan when father died so he wouldn't get them."

Normally, Shinpachi would've pulled the straight man act and denied that he needed his sister to fend off his nightmares, but those still haunt him to this day. Shinpachi couldn't bring himself to oppose his sister’s claim.

You hesitate, obviously not wanting to burden Tae, but end up slumping further into her chest. She looks at her brother with pleading eyes and Shinpachi takes it as his cue to leave.

When he closes the door to your room behind him, he decides that he would pay Gin-san a visit tonight. In your journal, he didn’t only see the words “the Doctor” a handful of times, but he also saw the page that might have caused your hysteria. _Never anger the crows,_ it said in an angry scribble.

Whenever Gin-san would go back to the Yorozuya drunk and Shinpachi just so happened to still be there, the older man would occasionally mumble about many things. One time, Gin-san had slurred about how crows were evil. It had just been the meaningless words of an intoxicated man to him back then, but seeing that it had a connection to you somehow...

Shinpachi isn’t stupid. He already put two and two together and knowing that two war veterans who fought side by side years ago are blabbering about crows when they aren’t in their proper state of mind only meant nothing good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've got yet another week off. More time to write this baby~ Anyway, here you have more disturbing flashbacks (sort of) to the Doctor. Just who the heck is that guy? Anyway, I actually got the whole plot wrangled up together already. I just have no idea how to write them down (weird, i know). But thank you for stopping by. I do hope you continue supporting this work <3


	3. Tour Guides with Uncontrolled Anger Management are the Best Kind of Tour Guides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY DECEMBER!~ Nice to find out this story is being well-received uwu. Here's the third chapter with some Hijikata-reader bonding. Happy reading~

"Are you sure you still want to go? This isn't mandatory, you know." Hijikata's concern shows as the both of you walked over to his police car.

Your fingers fumble with the sleeves of your yukata. The crisp morning air is only beginning to seep into your skin, and it makes you more unnerved than it should. That aside, you immensely appreciate that Hijikata is perceptive enough to notice that you aren’t...okay, but nice enough not to ask for any specifics. You slept soundly in Tae's arms last night, but still woke up with tears staining your cheeks.

You turn to him with an insisting nod. "I'm fine, Hijikata-san. Just had some trouble sleeping is all," you lie. "And you're kind enough to go out of your way to tour me against your will. The least I could do is go with you."

He doesn’t say anything in return as he opens the car door for you. after muttering a quick thanks, you step inside.

The police car isn’t so bad. You expected it to be full of empty cigarette packs, discarded candy wrappers, empty coffee cups, ~~and maybe even a condom or two~~ but the space is void of any form of clutter. It even faintly smells of fresh apples. Your companion settles himself into the driver's seat and buckles up, like you expect any goody-two-shoes policeman would. He gives you a sideways glance, urging you to do the same, but you only stick your tongue at him.

"Are you sure you want to break the law inside a policeman's vehicle?" he threatens.

You snicker and raise your hands in defeat before clicking your seatbelt in place.

"And this isn't entirely against my will, just so you know," he admits as he rolls down the window of his side of the car.

"Aww," you coo. "Hijikata-san likes to be around me."

He only shrugs as he produces a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his jacket. "Well, that’s partly true because you're one less idiot in Edo," he remarks before lighting up a cigarette. He takes a single drag and exhales the smoke outside the window. The hand holding the stick dangles out of the window and without looking at you, he asks, "You mind if I smoke for a bit?"

"Take your time."

And he _does_ take his time. You thought you only spent a couple of minutes talking to him about who the best Pokémon in each type was, but by the time he's smoked his third cigarette down to the filter, thirty minutes already passed. He smothers the last of it in an ashtray on his dashboard before starting the car.

"I won't roll up the windows yet. The smoke might suffocate us both,” he informs, but after a few moments of prolonged silence... “But regarding who the best Dragon type is, excluding all legendary Pokémon, I'm going for Dragonite."

Unimpressed by his incompetence, you roll your eyes. "How cliché. Dragonite's the best Dragon type because it looks most like a dragon? I say Garchomp."

" _That_ ugly thing? I thought girls liked Altaria the best."

"Only airheads like Altaria."

"Hey! I like Altaria."

"Just drive."

Hijikata mutters something about disrespecting cute Pokémon, and starts maneuvering the vehicle.

"So what's our first destination, tour guide-san?" you ask as he speeds through the still-empty streets of Kabuki-cho.

"The terminal," he replies without tearing his eyes off the road.

"You mean the huge cylinder in the middle of the city?"

Hijikata nods before making a very sharp turn. He veers the steering wheel to the left longer than he should and if you didn't have your seatbelt on, your face would've smashed into the window. You glare at him. "Shouldn't you be obeying the law, Hijikata?"

A sinister smile tugs on his lips. "I _am_ the law."

 

* * *

 

Hijikata manages to find a decent parking space. It isn’t too far to the Terminal, itself, but he has to wait out a couple of minutes before you stop throwing up on another car.

"I am the law, _my ass_ ," he hears you mutter scornfully.

"Would you look at that," he taunts. "The same woman who fought with the Four Heavenly Kings, reduced to a pile of motion sickness."

"Quiet, you! I'll have you know that one of those so-called Four Heavenly Kings of yours has worse motion sickness than me! He gets motion sick inside his own damn ship," you glower as you wipe your mouth with a handkerchief.

"Well, are you ready? The thing I'll be showing you won't be any good if we don't get up there by six o'clock."

Wordlessly, you get up to follow Hijikata as the two of you waft through the rows and rows of cars.

"The terminal's open twenty-four seven, since flights vary from time to time," he begins to explain. "But, their view deck, which is where I'm specifically taking you first, opens at six AM, and I happened to have it reserved for the morning."

You snort. "You sound like a rich boy taking out the main girl on a date in a shoujo manga."

He ignores your comment before grabbing your wrist. "Come on."

He leads you inside the Terminal and the two of you are greeted with a bustling sight—both humans and Amanto milling about to depart for their flights or head home with their baggage. The sun is hardly peeking into the horizon, yet this place is already brimming with life. He gives you three minutes max to gawk at the abundance of travelers. When the time is up, he bumps your shoulder and vaguely gestures to the elevator. The amazement is evident on your face, but you regain your composure and nod in understanding.

You had to squeeze yourself amongst the terminal-goers a little, but by the time you get in front of the elevator, Hijikata already pressed the UP button. He waits with impatience painting his features.

Eventually, the door opens and both of you step inside. Hijikata presses the one button on the panel, which was floor 50. As the lift begins to rise, he takes further notice of your fidgeting. You’ve been like this all morning, and he’s had the mind to just leave you to your devices, but then you ask him, "Are you from Edo?"

Though rather taken a back, he still answers truthfully. "No, I'm from Bushuu."

"I-I see," you stutter. "I may have been there once."

Hijikata stiffens. This is his chance to see whether or not there's a truth behind Kondo’s story...

The moment the thought presents itself in his mind, his brain decides to conjure up a mini-Hijikata in his thoughts. The smaller and more disciplinarian version of himself is telling him about violating a certain rule in the Shinsengumi code.

“Shinsengumi Code Rule number eight! Disrespecting your fellow brothers-in-arms is punishable by seppuku!”

He shakes his head, shrugging away these odd thoughts. Kondo would never lie to him, unless Hijikata asked him about his secret life as a stalker.

“Hey, Earth to Hijikata, have you discovered cabaret clubs on Mars yet?” You snap your fingers in front of his eyes, which causes him to flinch.

He frowns. “Wherever there are Amanto, there are cabaret clubs, you know.”

“It was a joke.”

“A pretty factual joke.”

The look you give him makes him wonder if you’ve already branded him as an idiot in your head. He isn’t very fond of that idea, so he’s quick on his wits when he changes the course of the conversation.

“I also heard that you were a dual sword wielder."

You stare at him with unguarded surprise. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Rumors spark up really quickly back at the Shinsengumi compound,” he reasons.

"Well, it's been _ages_ since I last held a sword, I can tell you that.” Your face contorts a little, as if you’re having a hard time trying to recall something. “I can’t even remember where I put the katanas I used back in the war. Careless, I know."

He can see that you’re about to tell him more, but the elevator comes to a stop, and the doors open. It reveals a room with a floor-to-ceiling window that stretches across the circumference of the space. He keeps his eyes trained on you, and he can very much conclude that you haven't been on a view deck before, judging from the unveiled bewilderment on your face.

Hijikata leads you closer to the windows, and lets you gaze at the sunrise. The sun peeks out from the mountains far away, and its golden rays filter through the puffy clouds. Hijikata has definitely seen better, but you seem to never have seen a sunrise your whole life because your palms brace on the glass as you drink in the scenery before you with widened eyes. He even hears you whisper, "Wow."

"They say that sunrises and sunsets aren't so different, but I like sunrises better," Hijikata tells to no one in particular.

"Why's that?" Your voice seems a little far-off when you ask him.

"Sunsets are prettier most of the time, yeah. But whenever the sun rises from the horizon again, it means that I've got another day, another shot, and another beginning ahead of me."

Silence paints you for a good while, and it leaves Hijikata wondering if you heard what he said at all. But then you turn to him and your eyes, your lips, _hell_ , your whole face is smiling, if that even made sense. The sun's soft, radiant light casts a warm glow on your skin, and for the first time in a long time, Hijikata finds another woman that isn’t Mitsuba, beautiful.

"That was really profound of you, Hijikata," you smile.

"I w-wasn't trying to be profound," he grunts adamantly.

"Whatever you say, profound-san."

"Shut up!"

"Okay, okay. What's for breakfast though?"

"The best place for I know for breakfast is back at Kabuki-cho. You wanna leave now?"

You spare him a look of contemplation before sitting on the cold floor, cross-legged. You tell him to do the same. It was rather weird, but he complies anyway. The two of you sit side by side as the sun rose into the sky.

"Oi, do you think there's some sort of sun Pokémon that controls the rise and set of it?" you inquire out of the blue.

"There's that new Pokémon called Solgaleo."

"Bah. I don't care about anything else past Generation Five."

There's a snide look on his face. "Is that because you were gone for years and didn't get to play past Generation Five, huh?"

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Is there a Pokémon that's within Generation Five that might control the sun?"

"Solrock?"

"No. Solrock is _from_ the sun."

"How's that different?"

"You're from Bushuu, but you don't control it, right?"

"I'm a policeman so, in some ways, I technically do. But oh, you were asking for a Pokémon like God. Arceus is a good choice."

"The Greeks said that Apollo rode a chariot in the sky—that chariot was the sun. But the Egyptians said that their sun god Ra was the one who did the sun chariot gig. And—"

"Where'd you find out about all of this?"

You face sours at the interruption. "Read it in a book once."

"So you're fond of reading?"

"More or less."

"Okay. Continue."

"As I was saying, a Pokémon worshipper told me today that Arceus was in charge of the sun."

"I am _not_ a Pokémon worshipper!"

"Are you sure, Hijikata?"

"Yes! And the sun is thousands of light years away. No god on this planet, not even Arceus can control a big ball of fire."

You scrutinize him for a minute. "So you _do_ worship Arceus?"

He takes back what he said about you being one less idiot in Edo.

 

* * *

  

Hijikata's Special Edo Tour isn't as bland as you initially thought it would be. After arguing about the force that makes the sun rise and set, he drove back to Kabuki-cho for breakfast. In the back of your mind, you expected it to be a fancy eat-all-you-can buffet place, but Hijikata pulls over at a small family restaurant.

"This place serves their meals tailored to the customer's interests," he tells you.

You gaze at the restaurant's exterior. The wood is nearly rotting, which means the place has been here for a while now.  

"So if you were gonna order an, I dunno, a donburi? The chef will put mayonnaise on yours?" you guess.

Hijikata spares you a lopsided smile before stepping out of his car. "You're smarter than I gave you credit for."

"Oi, just because I spent a good few years surrounded by the four biggest idiots on the planet, that doesn't mean my common sense was dulled," you retaliate before getting out as well.

"And I wasn't suggesting otherwise," Hijikata replied before going inside.

The restaurant looks more welcoming inside by a long shot. The walls are colored a soft, light green, although the wallpaper is beginning to fade from age; there are tables and chairs where you can choose to sit, but there are also stools by the wooden counter. Someone is seated at the far left of the counter, but you get distracted by the scent of onions and garlic being sautéd before you can give them a second glance. The aroma made your mouth water and at that moment, it sinks in that, for the past week, you've been living off convenience store food, Bargain Dash, or Tae's ~~burnt~~ extra crispy cooking.

Hijikata takes a seat in the middle of the rows of stools, and you sit on the stool to his right.

"Hey, owner. Good morning," Hijikata greets with an unfamiliar courtesy.

You just took note of the elderly man cooking behind the counter. "Ah Hijikata-san. Good morning. Who's your girl friend?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Hijikata abruptly denies

The owner cocks his head in confusion. "This girl isn't your friend? What are you doing with her then? Ah, she's not a girl, isn't she? One of the trannies, maybe? Although what could the Demon Vice Chief be doing with a—"

"Owner, I'll have the Hijikata Special please."

"Oh alright. What does your tranny friend want, then?"

You glance at Hijikata. "Did he just call me a—"

"She'll be having donburi with mayonnaise."

"Oi, don't force your mayo obsession on me! Make that a donburi with egg, please."

The owner hums before listing down your orders. "The usual for Hijikata-san, and a donburi with egg for his tranny friend."

"There it is. Hijikata, he called me a tranny. What the hell is a tranny?"

"Y-Yes, owner. That'll be all!"

"Oi, are you ignoring me?"

"And _please_ make it quick!"

"Oi oi oi, can the lot of you stop shouting so loud? This hangover's already giving me a hard time."

Your gaze stretches past Hijikata only to see the guy sitting on the far end glaring at the two of you with a green face. Realizing who it is, you open your mouth to speak, but Hijikata beat you to it.

"What are you doing here?" he hisses.

"Hijikata-kun, so stingy this early in the mor—Blegh!"

At that moment, Gin vomited all over his bowl of...you're not quite sure what exactly it is. Are those beans on rice? That was incredibly gross, but Hijikata wasn't the least bit fazed. Is the sight of middle-aged men vomiting all over their meals considered normal in Edo nowadays?

"Look what you made me do!" Gin points at his vomit-coated breakfast.

"Why did you even come here in the midst of a hangover?"

"A hungover man needs aspirin and a bowl of rice and azuki beans."

"Your taste is despicable."

"I don't want to hear that from a mayora like you!"

"Can both of you shut up?" you scold.

Gin wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his yukata before peering up at you. Abruptly, he gets up and stalks over to you and Hijikata and examines you like you are an extraterrestrial specimen. "Hm. Hijikata-kun, first you brought me a Yoshiwara girl, but now you've given me a goddess!" he exclaims before going down on one knee.

"She's the same girl, you dimwit!"

"A goddess hath descended from the heavens," Gin grabs your hand ~~and you try not to think about how soft it is~~. "Please cure me from this hangover!"

You gape at him stupidly. But since this is Gin, the best way to get him to knock it off is to play along. "Uh, my name is Junko, the ah, servant of God, and, um, the goddess of hangovers! When I punch you in the face, you will pass out, but when you wake up, you'll uh...be reborn anew! Now stand up, young alcoholic!"

The man shoots up back on his feet and zealously throws his hands up. "I believe!"

The very next moment, you stand up, clench a fist, and land a clean, hard hit on his jaw. It was a hard punch, and you know it. Lesser men would've fainted, but Gin is no lesser man, so it doesn't come off as a surprise when he doesn't faint instantly at the blow. He even makes an effort to be dramatic by spinning around in a circle or two before slumping to the floor.

"An idiot can only be defeated by another idiot," Hijikata sidelines. 

You are about to tell him that you're in the mood to take out one more idiot, but that's until the owner comes back with your meals. He doesn't even bat an eyelash at the customer sprawled on the floor of his shop. Not that you're particularly concerned. You sit back down to stare at your donburi bowl with a perfect sunny side up. It definitely looks appetizing, so without a moment's hesitation, you dig in.

The flavors blended harmoniously together. From the savory sensation that the fried pork provides, to the god-tier texture of the egg, this is guaranteed to be the best meal you've had in ages. Helplessly, you try fighting the urge to take your clothes off, but it's too much... _too much_ —

"Ah!" A delighted cry escapes your lips as your yukata slowly gets ripped to shreds.

"Oi! This isn't a Shokugeki no Sora fanfiction! Pull yourself together!" Hijikata shakes you by the shoulders.

You catch a glint of light at the corner of your eye. When you turn your head, you witness Gin holding a flip phone in his hand. For some odd reason, a pair of dark shades and a face mask seemed to have materialized on his face, like he became a train pervert in the span of five minutes. You get on your feet once more to bring your boot up the side of his head. "Gin, if you don't pass out for real, you'll never be reborn into a new man!"

When the pervert doesn't respond, you sit back on your stool to help yourself to more of your donburi.

Hijikata looks at you approvingly. "Remind me to never cross you."

You are about to let him off with some impudent reply, until you hear Gin call you by your name—your real name. It was a soft, grunted sound, but you heard it. You whipped your head back to stare at him. From the disappearance of the shades and mask, he seems definitely unconscious. But his lips are moving in soft mumbles.

"Evil... Parfaits... The crows...are evil... Gravure models... I want to marry...Ketsuno Ana—" he suddenly snores.

"Did he just say he wanted to marry an asshole?" Hijikata asks and it would've been funny if Gin hadn't mentioned the crows.

The donburi from heaven doesn't taste as good in your mouth anymore.

 

* * *

  

"I am not going to let you ruin your own day just because that damn Sakata ruined your breakfast experience," Hijikata growls before turning the key to the engine of his car.

You didn't mean to piss Hijikata off, really. But you couldn't stop thinking about Gin's seemingly meaningless slurs. Crows became a really touchy subject for you since the incident with your journal last night. You tried sweeping the matter under the rug, but Hijikata wasn't having any of it. So, he sat you down in his car to pry an explanation out of you for  _an_ _hour_. His patience was long, you had to admit, but you were trained to never break face during interrogations. Torture was a whole different story, but you were slightly glad that he wasn't sadistic enough to resort to that. Instead, he got fed up and made you feel bad.

He drives around in silence for a few minutes before pulling over in front of what looked like a café. A sign overhead said _Takamagahara Inu_ , and you snap your head to Hijikata. "You're taking me to a host club to make me feel better?" Your tone is incredulous, albeit offended.

Hijikata rolls his eyes. "You're talking about Takamagahara. This is Takamagahara _Inu_. Dog Heaven. It's a dog café, not a host club!"

Your face heats up. "I-I knew that."

Despite his obvious state of vexation, he still gets out of the car to open the door for you. Since he's practically pouting already, you sigh. "I'm sorry."

For a split second, his gaze warms, but he readjusts his mask of indifference in no time. "Tch, just tell me about your problems every once in a while. We'll be together for the next six months, in case you forgot."

You offer him a smile as he leads the both of you inside. A soft chime of a bell greets you when Hijikata opens the door. The girl who looked like she was only in high school welcomes the two of you with a smile from the counter.

"Good morning!" she chirps gleefully. "I'm Kotori, and welcome to Takamagahara Inu. Are you here for a meal or for adoption?"

You give her a confused stare. "Adoption?"

Kotori nods. "This isn't just a dog café. Takamagahara Inu also doubles as an adoption center."

"Seriously? That's amazing, and all, but my butler and I are only here for lunch."

"Call me your butler again and I'll put _you_ up for adoption." You can feel Hijikata's murderous intent from behind you.

Kotori only laughs. "This way please."

She leads the two of you into a brightly lit hallway full of framed photos of what you presume were past customers. In some of the photos your eyes catch, you can see humans and Amanto alike playing with various breeds. 

"We often take pictures of the customers enjoying with the dogs," Kotori explains.

You nod, and you're about to ask her where the dogs came from, until one particular frame caught your eye.

"O-Oi, Hijikata. C'mere for a sec."

He raises an eyebrow at you and had a look at what you were staring at. Upon realizing what you were pertaining to, the color immediately drains from his face.

"K-Kotori-san!

The girl glances behind her and walks back. "What can I do for you, sir?"

Hijikata points at the picture frame with shaking fingers. You couldn't blame him. If you're Hijikata and you saw a picture of yourself and Katsura Kotaro, the leader of the Nationalist Faction, playing with a bunch of beagles as the two of you were frozen mid-laugh, where it could be seen by anyone... Well, you'd go ballistic, too.

"What is this doing here?"

Kotori takes a closer look. "Hm, this was taken on a Saturday two months ago... I'm sorry sir, but Wednesdays and Fridays are my shifts. If you want it taken down, we could—"

"N-No, it's fine." Hijikata's typically hard gaze seemed to soften, and if you didn't know better, it looked like he stared at the frame with...longing? Why would he look at a picture of him and Katsura, his arch-enemy, with some sort of wistful endearment?

Kotori nods politely. "This way please."

When the three of you make your way out of the long hallway full of picture frames, you're greeted by a sight that almost brings you to tears.

"Oh my God." You definitely aren't being dramatic when you cover your mouth with your hand as you gape at the sight.

The room isn't too big, but not exactly small either. It is divided by a wooden, white fence, but the space on the left is slightly more spacious. The left half has pastel blue walls and dark blue paw print designs. Tables, chairs, benches, and even beanbags are placed on top of the polished wooden floor. A door is present at the far end of the room with a sign that says  _KITCHEN_. Bookshelves containing manga, books, and board games are lined up by the walls.

The left side looks absolutely cozy, but the right half makes you want to squeal in delight. It was full of _dogs_. They came in various breeds, colors, and sizes. There's even a huge window overlooking the sidewalk, so if you were outside, you could still gaze at the adorable fluff balls. The dogs immediately begin running towards the three of you, except for one gray sheepdog at the far corner, next to a black doggy door.

"Kotori-chan, why's that dog over there just..there?" you inquire out of concern.

Kotori glances to where you're pertaining. "Ah, that's old Tetsu. He's been here for a while, and he's even a customer favorite. But he's grown weak lately and doesn't interact with customers much. We took him to the vet but they said nothing was really wrong with him..." 

"What about that little door right there? What's that for?" You point to the doggy door.

"Oh, that's where the dogs are trained to, you know, do their business."

"This place is amazing."

"So, what'll it be? Will you order your lunch first or play with the dogs?"

Initially, you wish to tell her, "Play with the dogs," but Hijikata insists that the two of you would have lunch first because you would take _hours_ with the dogs. For one, he isn't entirely wrong.

"Since you two are our first customers for the day, I'll just tell out chef to start up the fryers. I'll come back in a while to take your orders," Kotori says, before handing the two of you a couple of menus.

Kotori walks to the kitchen and Hijikata asks where you want to sit.

"The beanbags look comfy, but I wanna eat my food on a table," you reply.

The moment the two of you settle in your seats, though, you immediately badger him. "So... You and Zura. What's up?"

"I don't want to talk about it," came his flat reply.

Your eye twitched. "I didn't want to talk about what happened this morning, too, but you tried _forcing_ it out of me. I thought you wouldn't like it if I locked you up inside a police car for an hour and interrogated the truth out of you, too. So, here I am, asking nicely." You didn't mean to sound _that_ stingy, but guilt tripping the Vice Chief is apparently effective.

He sighs before sinking further into his seat. "If I tell you about Katsura, will you tell me about Sakata?"

You wonder what he means by that because nothing of significance exactly transpired between you and Gin. Sure, you might had feelings for him back then, and you might have had a few intimate nights together, but Gin never loved you the way you loved him. Why does Hijikata want to know about your first failed attempt at romance? But that doesn't really matter. At least he wasn't asking about the crows. At least he was asking the wrong questions.

When you nod, he heaves another sigh. You deduce that he must've been itching to smoke another cigarette. Your eyes glaze over the menu first as he gathers up his courage. In your mind, you decide to order a lasagna with iced tea. 

"Kotaro and I were together for a month," Hijikata begins. 

First name basis. Zura had never let you, or any of the other three idiots call him by his first name. He'd let Zura slide, but never Kotaro.

"I was on a mission to infiltrate one of the Harusame's ships. Let's just say that he happened to be there, as well. In the end, when the captain caught me and nearly killed me, Kotaro saved me with a diversion from Elizabeth." He smiles to himself.

"I couldn't believe I was saved by a Joui. But I set that aside and thanked him. I even told him that I'd recompense however I could. I thought he was gonna ask for something like destroy the Shinsengumi from within or something, but instead, the idiot told me to just spend some time with him."

You snort. "Typical Zura."

"So for a month, I followed him around as much as I could behind Kondo-san's back. It was trickier than I first thought, since everywhere Kotaro wanted to go, Shimura-san was also there." An irk mark appears on his head, and you can instantly get what he was trying to say. Wherever Tae was, a certain gorilla was always lurking close by, as well.

"Eventually, we learned to avoid all the places where we could be found. Often, he'd drag me to the outskirts just so we can gaze at the stars. Something about the heavens being clearer when you're away from all the light pollution, he said..." Hijikata's voice falters and he zones out for a moment. However, before you can comment on it, he recovers his composure. "Around that time, Sougo was already catching on that something was up. I couldn't risk getting caught so I..."

Realization creeps up your bones. "So _that's_ why Zura wanted to blow your face off the first time I arrived in Edo again." You gave him a cold glare, and hiss, "You broke his heart."

During the war, there were nights you slept beside Gin, but most nights you spent talking with Zura. He didn't have the most dramatic life, but you knew it was sad. He lost his grandmother, his last remaining relative, and became the last of his name at a very young age. Sometimes, you're the only one that's there for him whenever he wakes up in a cold sweat from nightmares where he gets buried alive in their family mausoleum. In return, Zura was the one who cradled you in his arms whenever you had nightmares about...

That was strange. You _knew_ you had your fair share of nightmares during the war, but you can't remember what they were about.

"I had to. A relationship between me and a Joui wouldn't prosper anyway!"

"If you knew that from the start, then why did you even start something in the first place?"

"I cared about him enough to let him go."

"But not enough to spare him from the pain."

"Would you rather that he get killed, then?"

You're about to fire your ammunition of hurtful words, but that's until Kotori arrives with a notepad in her hands. "So, are you ready with your orders?"

 "Lasagna and iced tea, please," you make your tone as even as possible.

"Tonkatsu with mayonnaise and a glass of cold water," Hijikata says through gritted teeth.

If Kotori noticed Hijikata's rage, she didn't show it, and just patiently scribbles your orders on her notepad. "Your food will be ready in twenty to thirty minutes. Excuse me." She bows before going away.

You sigh, suddenly feeling conscious of Hijikata's glare. You the slightest bit guilty, too. Even if he _did_ break Zura's heart, Hijikata will still be your escort for the next six months so you should really refrain from antagonizing him every time you had a serious conversation.

"I'm sorry. I don't know the whole story, and your reasons, so I shouldn't have judged..."

Hijikata cards a hand through his hair and mutters something about moody females. "What I like about you most is how quickly you realize your mistakes."

"Shut up."

"You still owe me a story, too."

"Alright, what do you wanna know?"

"How'd you end up being a Joui?"

"Whoa, wise guy. My end of the bargain was to spill about Gin, not spill about my life."

"That's kinda relevant."

"Okay," you groan. "I'll be honest with you, but I don't exactly remember why I became a Joui. All I know is that I was forced into it." You massaged your temples softly. It's the truth that you didn't remember the reasons for your signing up for the Jouishishi. Of course, there'd been a handful of times you'd tried your hardest to recall anything, but each attempt only gave you a horrific throbbing sensation in your head.

"Did you get amnesia along the way or something?"

 _Yes_ , you want to tell him. But the cause of your amnesia is still quite a mystery to you. Much earlier, you theorized that The Doctor must've did some tinkering in your head while he sedated you. But regardless of the source of your affliction, the holes in your memory have proved to be a pain as you tried to get by for the past few years. Of course, you've tried getting them back, like any other amnesia patient. Yet, even through years of searching, not even a sense of déja vu was unearthed. But you aren't quite ready to tell Hijikata all that.

"I'm just really forgetful," you smile.

If you were Hijikata, you wouldn't be the least content with the explanation you just gave him, and might've locked you inside his car for another few hours under interrogation. But he just nods respectfully before proceeding to his next question.

"Did you love him?"

You blink. "Of course I did."

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, and I am telling you that I did love him—as a comrade, and as himself."

"Why was he the first person you looked for? Why not Ko—Katsura?"

"There's actually a pretty interesting story behind it." You snicker as you recall. "I _did_ try finding Zura first because I heard that he had a man in a white sheet following him around. My source told me that Zura thinks the man is his companion, and named him Elizabeth."

"O-Okay. You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to, but were you ever 'intimate' with him?"

"Man, you ask a lot of questions don't you? But yeah. I've been 'intimate' with Gin a couple of times, give or take."

"So _that's_ why you have a Sakata complex."

"Oh, shut up. You know that isn't true. Next."

"Where does he shop for his clothes?"

"What?"

"He has a nice sense of fashion."

"Hijikata, you are the last person I'd expect to care for fashion. He's worn the same thing since Gintama was published. The hell's fashionable about that? And how am I supposed to know? I've been gone for ten years remember?"

"Alright, alright. Did he love you?"

You expected Hijikata to ask you that, but when he does, he also flings you into a bubble of reminiscence. Talking by the flame of an overused candle, walks by the riverbank at sunset, lazy afternoons under the shade of an oak tree—

"Oi, Earth to Hitotsu." The Vice Chief snaps his fingers in front of your eyes.

"...No, he didn't."

"Not even as a comrade?"

You rest your chin on your palm. "I always thought he only ever loved Shouyou."

"I don't know who this Shouyou is, but no one can only ever love _one_ person."

"I hope that's true..."

"O-Oi, I won't have you being sad on me again."

"I'm a sad person, Hijikata."

"I will seriously beat you up."

"Then I'll be _sadder_."

"Uh, h-hello."

" _What_?!" You and Hijikata bark at the intruder to your conversation. It isn't Kotori, but she dons the same uniform, and has a tray with your orders in hand.

"My name is Hanayo, and I'm your waitress for today. Kotori-chan just filled in for me for a while because I was a little late," she supplies meekly as she set down your food. "Will there be anything else?"

"Nope. Thank you," you say before helping yourself to your lasagna. An hour inside Hijikata's car already digested the donburi bowl you had for breakfast.

When Hanayo walks away, you finally notice that you and Hijikata are no longer the only customers in the room. There's a couple seated on the beanbags, some high schoolers by another table, and a family with kids playing with the dogs. But you also notice Hijikata's eyes following Hanayo.

You scoff before taking a sip from your iced tea. "So your taste ranges from high school girls to long-haired men. You are a diverse man, Hijikata Toushirou."

"Shut up. The waitress was just cute."

You pout. "If you want cute, it's right in front of you."

"Hah? Where? I can't see."

You shoot daggers at him as you eat your pasta in a comfy silence. You watch intently as Hijikata evenly spread the mayonnaise over his Tonkatsu strips. You acknowledge that hard lines that are already beginning to form on his face, which is strange because he only seems to be about your age. It must be because he's always frowning, scowling, and glowering at everyone he interacts with all the time. You wouldn't deny the fact that Hijikata is quite handsome, but he would've been even more so, if he learns to smile and made it a habit.

"I would appreciate it if you would stop staring at me while I'm eating. It's flattering, but weird, even for you."

"I'm merely acknowledging my companion's good looks," you admit.

"Thank you, but what happened to butler?"

"Ah, sorry, Hijikata, but you just don't cut it."

"Really? Well that's good because you don't make a very convincing socialite, either."

"What are you talking about?" You slurped your iced tea obnoxiously loudly.

He stares at you knowingly and laughed. _There_. His facial muscles we finally not pulled into a frown. It lasts for two seconds, and you don't know why you're making a big deal out of it, but you'd want to see it again.

When you both finish your meals, he asks you, "So are you ready to get slobbered all over?"

You laugh. "Hm, I want to play with them but let's just save that for another time."

He arches his brow. "But you were dying to play with them half an hour ago."

"Well yeah, but," You cast a glance at the sheepdog at the end of the room.

"I think I'm going to adopt one of them."


End file.
